Pooja Ruprell

“Let life happen to you. Believe me: life is in the right, always.” Rainer Maria Rilke

I sense that letting life happen to you is important guidance for those moments of our lives when we want to give up. It is our mantra for darker moments, times of confusion and stressful situations.

Some of us are happy to let life pass us by, and the effort to steer it in the right direction seems like way too much work. And, then there are those of us who believe and trust that the best will happen for us and through us, allowing ourselves to become instruments that spread peace, joy and goodwill even through the toughest phases.

It is not that we are unwilling to make the efforts needed to live our best lives for it requires more work to stop resisting events and people around us when they get in our way, as we try to harmonize with all the variables in our environment.

Without a doubt, placing our unquestioned trust in the process of life when things are not going as per our plan takes deep inner evolution.

P.S: This blog takes a two week break. See you back on May 29th.

People ask me whether there is such a thing as too much self-love. Where’s the line, they ask, where it starts to become selfish or egoistical? To me there’s no such possibility. There is no line. Selfishness comes from lack of self-love. Anita Moorjani.

In continuation from Tuesday’s blog about Anita’s book, “Dying to be me” I am a few pages away from completing it. The last book that affected me as deeply was Eckhart Tolle’s, “A New Earth” over four years back. I have re-read several passages with the intent of imprinting them on my heart for life. I purchased additional copies to give away for I believe that it can give courage and a fresh perspective to many suffering souls.

One of the passages that I seek to hold on to forever is quoted above. It resonates with me because many a time, I have questioned myself about the amount of time, energy and attention I invest into nourishing my mind, body and soul. On occasion I’d experience guilt at the thought that I was prioritising my happiness and endeavouring to dance to the tune of my heart over other priorities.

Reading this book has reinforced my trust in the process of learning to love myself a little more today than I did yesterday. After all, I am not capable of loving another if I have not learnt to love myself.

People, who find fault, criticize and express negative emotions towards another have not focussed enough energy on self-love for if they had, they’d know that outwardly expressed anger creates a tremendous amount of inner unhealthy energy that depletes them emotionally and physically.

One who loves himself/herself will find it that much easier to love and encompass another in their joyful bright light. They are so complete and secure about themselves that they see no reason to compete, prove a point or argue a belief. They are able to selflessly share and love everyone around them.

Self-love enables us to eradicate the selfishness from within our lives. So, let’s all learn to love ourselves and for those of us who think we already do, there’s always room for lots more loving.

I understood that I owed it to myself, to everyone I met, and to life itself to always be an expression of my own unique essence. Trying to be anything or anyone else didn’t make me better-it just deprived me of my true self! It kept others from experiencing me for who I am. Anita Moorjani.

For the past two days, I have been reading the book, “Dying to be me” by Anita Moorjani. I wanted to introduce it to all of you in case you have not heard about it. Besides being a uniquely well expressed memoir, the writer’s inner transformation appeals to me tremendously.

Her four year tryst with cancer, a near death experience, and a complete switch of perceptions and priorities urge us not to await our own personal encounters with illness and death to redefine the way we live our lives.

Fear and a constant desire for approval were prime factors that lead to the writer’s intense experience with disease.

Responding with a ‘yes’ when the heart wants to say ‘no’, pretending to go along when we desire the opposite does not serve us. Let’s not take being selfless so far that we forget what being true to ourselves is all about

If we need to lie to hold on to a relationship, that relationship needs to be relooked at. Should we have to behave contrary to our inherent nature to appease another, it would help to re-assess our relationship with ourselves.

We are perfect as we are and as Anita says in her book, we need no reason to expect love other than the fact that we exist.

Leaders need to have immense wisdom, compassion and courage. Nevertheless, each person is different. There are some who may have and outstanding intellect, others who may possess deep compassion for others, and still others who are filled with courage. Daisaku Ikeda

Over the past few weeks, I have been attending several work related meetings, and have been carefully observing different leadership styles. It’s a learning mechanism for me.

While sincerety, compassion, intellect and wisdom are impressive qualities to have as a leader, I consider courage the most precious of them all. In my opinion, courageous leaders are creatively successful in taking others along with them as they work towards accomplishing goals.

It takes courage to hold on to one’s beliefs in the wake of opposition, and not give up when every odd is stacked against you as a leader. Speaking your mind while continuing to be respectful of another’s opinion requires courage. Courage is what gets one through when the path is unknown and several others are looking up to you to see them through.

The worthy man Confucius held to his belief “Nine thoughts to one word,” which means that he reconsidered nine times before he spoke. Tan, the Duke of Chou, was so earnest in receiving callers that he would wring out his hair three times in the course of washing it, or spit out his food three times in the course of a meal [in order not to keep them waiting]. Consider this carefully so that you will have no cause to reproach me later. What is called Buddhism is found in this behavior. Nichiren Daishonin

The prime point of Buddhism, to my mind, is evolving into a stronger, wiser and finer human being. All other benefits that are received in the process of the spiritual practice are secondary.

To have the patience of Confucius and think nine times before responding or the graciousness of the Duke of Chou in meeting with guests is not easily achieved. Of course, there are some people whom we look at and recognize as “Buddhas” even though they don’t chant “Nam-myoho-renge-kyo”, but the rest of us need a strong, guiding force to enable us to that life state through the ever-changing dynamics of life.

Buddhism is not outside the realm of our daily lives. It’s not a philosophy we practice part time. In fact a true Buddhist is one who lives it in every relationship and through each struggle. It becomes a habit that we just cannot get away from.

You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.
― William W. Purkey

My ten year old daughter is the inspiration for tonight’s blog.

She wakes up in the morning singing, spends her entire morning in a singsong trance as she showers and eats her cereal, forcing all of us to remind her every few minutes that she needs to hurry.

When I go to pick her up from the daycare centre in the evening after work, she is a bundle of energy, and skip-dances alongside me as we walk to the car. Looking at her lifts my spirit no matter how hard my day has been.

After dinner, when it is time to do her homework, the music system in her room comes on and she sings as she does her homework, often getting up from her chair to dance a little or hop from one end of the room to the other.

She lives life on a different scale from the rest of us at home – innocent, vibrant, melodious and gloriously alive. I envy my little baby, and endeavour to learn from her infectious giggles and short-lived moments of despair.

To me, Fearless is not the absence of fear. It’s not being completely unafraid. To me, Fearless is having fears. Fearless is having doubts. Lots of them. To me, Fearless is living in spite of those things that scare you to death. ― Taylor Swift

A few weeks back, I was at a Buddhist meeting where a young woman shared her experience about a serious relationship crisis with her ex-boyfriend.

She knew the relationship was doing neither of them any good, and it was time to let go. However, every time she endeavoured to act upon it, her heart was filled with fear. She had spent precious years nurturing this relationship, and did not know how to be without it any more.

When she shared this with her sister, her sister recommended that she pray. “Chant until you are free of the fear” was the advice she received. And, that is exactly what she did. When she rid herself of the fears she was dealing with, she was able to take the necessary action and move ahead.

While the break was painful in the short term, living with her fear would have meant emotional death in the long term.

Each of us has fears that can be paralysing, but holding on to them isn’t an option if we want to live our best life. Let’s all commence letting go of one of our deeper fears from today.

The meaning of life is the progressive expansion of happiness. It is to harmonize the elements and forces of our own being with the elements and forces of the cosmos so that we participate in its future evolution of creativity, insight, imagination, infinite possibilities, and also the qualities that we most long for: love, compassion, joy, kindness, equanimity. Deepak Chopra

What a perfect expression of the meaning of life!

To live:

• We must keep moving ahead, embracing happiness while simultaneously broadening our vision, outlook, and wisdom.
• Integrate ourselves with the Universe to ensure the positive progress of the human race.
• Fuse our inner resourcefulness, intuition, intelligence and supreme potential with that of the cosmos encouraging creative, constructive, consistent and constant momentum of the globe and all its inhabitants.

This pure symphony of human beings and the planet guarantees that we are all ultimately delivered to the tender appreciation, bliss and grace we seek.

Home is a state of consciousness. It’s what emotionally anchors us where we feel most at ease. It’s the people or places in whose reflection we see, or aspire to see, our own best qualities. Deepak Chopra.

In reading the above definition of Home, it seems a complete contrast to many of our personal experiences. While we may feel most at ease in our own homes, is it a place where we can see our best qualities? Or show other family members their best characterstics?

We tend to take for granted the people we live with, and do not hesitate to express our impatience with each other. Displaying our worst attributes to our immediate family members, we save the best for the rest. Of course, there are exceptions to this, and few of us are patient, kind and loving irrespective of where we are.

As I read and reread this passage, I could not help but reflect. Do I enable my family members to see their best traits, or am I a reminder of all their negative attributes? Do my responses make them feel loved, desirable and special? Are they happy when they hear me at the door, or do they run upstairs so they don’t have to deal with me?

Maybe each of us can ask ourselves these questions, and based on our honest responses, some behaviour realignment maybe in order so we can enjoy a happier family life.

“I want to sing like birds sing, not worrying about who hears and what they think.” Rumi

How do birds sing?

They don’t rehearse and worry not about melody
Singing when they feel like and stopping when they want
They care not who is listening, nor get affected by criticism
Continuing to dance amongst the stars and riding on the clouds

Why would a man/woman want to sing like a bird?

It’s not the song but their way of life that one aspires to learn
Suppress not the song on your lips, nor the music from your soul
Forget what others think, say and do – but, yes please be true to YOU
Then you too can claim the freedom of the bird navigating the beautiful, blue sky